Gone to a wedding

I would rather like to say "Gone Fishing" but no such luck

Because of circumstances beyond my control there will be no Mad Gab today

Mad Gab will be back next week with a great puzzle.

Sorry if i disappointed you

FRIDAY FUNNY (I think)

UNCLE JAY EXPLAINS CONGRESS

If "Con" is the opposite of "Pro"
Than Congress is the opposite of Progress.

HORSING AROUND

We are accepting delivery of a new pony to our stable.
A cute little horse from Norway called a Fjord.
Mostly used for cart and sleigh driving
they are a very strong horse for their size

I am looking forward to giving cart and sleigh rides
and maybe even doing a parade or two.

MAD GAB ANSWER

The answer to saturday's Mad Gab is

I Dream of Jeanie

Congratulations to
Jenn
Who was the first (and only) person to get the right answer.
For that matter she was the only one to even try.

We'll try again next Saturday.
Come on and play

MAD GAB SATURDAY

Yes, It's
MAD GAB SATURDAY.

Here are the rules.
Read the puzzle below then click "Comments"
enter your answer, type the word verification,
Choose an Identity then publish your comment.

If you have a blog please choose that identity.
If you want credit for a correct answer choose Name/URL.
If you don't want credit for a correct answer choose Anonymous.

And Now The Puzzle

Eyed Ream Oaf Gene He

Look for the answer and winners tomorrow.
Good luck.

FRIDAY FUNNY

In Honor of Stupid People
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity,
here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
(Damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

STOP HITTING THE PANIC BUTTON

I'M BACK

I know I have not been blogging for a few days. Well, since the 5th. Ok. Ok. More than a few days.
But I have good reason.

Thanks to the generosity of a very close friend who's name I will not mention (cough....B.J.) I was able to purchase some actual server space and regain my domain name "raysplayground.com". I have had to devote all my free time to transferring the site content to the new server. The rest of my time is spent being father of the year (one has to brag a little). But now I'm back and with a vengeance. Keep your eye out for new blogs everyday along with NEW VIDEOS on the site, NEW JOKES on FUNNY FRIDAY, the restart of MAD GAB SATURDAY and many more MIKAYLA PHOTOS including some very cute pro photos (Pro photos are copywrite protected and must be purchased.)

FRIDAY FUNNY

Top 10 Most Brilliant Advertising Mess Ups

1. Coors put its slogan, "Turn it loose," into Spanish, where it was read as "Suffer from diarrhea."
2. Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American campaign: "Nothing sucks like an Electrolux."
3. Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick", a curling iron, into German only to find out that "mist" is slang for manure. Not too many people had use for the "manure stick."
4. When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as in the U.S., with the beautiful Caucasian baby on the label. Later they learned that in Africa, companies routinely put pictures on the label of what's inside, since most people can't read.
5. Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of a notorious porno magazine.
6. An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of "I saw the Pope" (el Papa), the shirts read "I saw the potato" (la papa).
7. Pepsi's "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" translated into "Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave", in Chinese.
8. Frank Perdue's chicken slogan, "it takes a strong man to make a tender chicken" was translated into Spanish as "it takes an aroused man to make a chicken affectionate."
9. The Coca-Cola name in China was first read as "Ke-kou-ke- la", meaning "Bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax", depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 characters to find a phonetic equivalent "ko-kou-ko- le", translating into "happiness in the mouth."
10. When Parker Pen marketed a ball-point pen in Mexico, its ads were supposed to have read, "it won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you". Instead, the company thought that the word "embarazar" (to impregnate) meant to embarrass, so the ad read: "It won't leak in your pocket and make you pregnant."