FRIDAY FUNNY

THE PURINA DIET

I have 6 large dogs and was buying several large bags of Iam's at Costco. While I was standing in line to check out, the woman behind me asked if I had a dog. (DUH!!!)
On impulse, I told her no, I was staring The Purina Diet again.
Although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital the last time.
But I'd lost 20 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again .

I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy who was standing behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me?

I told her no, I'd been sitting in the street licking my ass and a car hit me.

I thought the guy standing behind her was going to need help as he staggered to the door laughing.

Random Video

Oh My! It has almost been a whole week since I've blogged anything.
Well I guess that means that not much has gone on around here that's news worthy.

Oh well, I'll have something for you tomorrow.
That is Funny Friday after all

In the meantime here is a vid I think you'll like

Hu is in China

Friday Funny

ACTUAL AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET 12659 ---CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.

The case came up in court.

The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.

The man replied, 'Well your Honor, it was like this, when the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat down under a sign that said, 'The Double Mint Twins are coming' and I grinned. Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, ' Logan 's Liniment will reduce the swelling,' and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, 'William's Big Stick Did the Trick,' and I could hardly contain myself. But, Your Honor, when She moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, 'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident'... I just lost it.'

'CASE DISMISSED!!'

Mikayla Update

Yup. You read it right. This is a Mikayla Update.
I know it's been a while but there really hasn't been anything of import to say. She's eating, sleeping and filling her diaper just like she's supposed to be doing.

Jenn however has gone crazy with the camera again and snapped a crap load of pictures.
You can find the new slide show on Mikayla's Page. Remember that you can click on the slide show name in the lower left corner to get to the thumbnail section and download any one of the photos you want.

You might also find a link in this post somewhere

Enjoy the slide show.

Thought for Today

'OPEC is selling oil for over $135.00 a barrel.

OPEC nations buy U.S. grain at $7.00 a bushel.

Solution: Sell grain for $135.00 a bushel.

Can't buy it...Tough...Eat your oil.'

Monday Monday

It's Monday morning and I sit here with my ever present coffee cup wondering what the day will bring.

First: I heard from my Stepmom in Phoenix AZ the other day. Apparently all is well there.
I really miss you all down there.

Second: I'm so sorry Anna that I forgot your birthday but you know me and my CRS.
Happy belated birthday. Wait that should be Belated Happy Birthday. Your birthday wasn't late, I was LOL.

Third: The admin server for the site is down so I can't update the daily comics or complete the two new sections (Free Cursors and Games). I will have those two up and running as soon as I can.

FRIDAY FUNNY

The husband had just finished reading a new book, "YOU CAN BE THE MAN OF YOUR HOUSE"

He stormed into the kitchen and walked directly up to his wife. Pointing a finger in her face, he said sternly, "From now on, YOU need to know that I AM the MAN of this house, and my word is law!

You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert afterward.
Then, after dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me, and we will have the sex that I want.

After that, you are going to draw me my bath so I can relax.

You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then you will massage my feet and hands.

Then after that's done, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair????"

His wife replied, "The funeral director would be my guess."

Wishfull thinking

Today has turned out to be a B-E-A-utiful day. A great day to drag out the old canoe, drop it in the lake and cast a lure into the water. To bad I don't have said canoe yet. Give me time though.

I have been bored the last few days. My friend went on vacation (or should I say "On Holiday") in Australia. According to her blog (See Anna's Blog) she is having a blast. I hope she continues to have fun but I miss her. If you see this Ana, hit me up if you have a free minute.

Tomorrow is Funny Friday and I have a good one waiting so stay tuned.
I need more funny stuff for Fridays so send me something
email anything you have to ourplayground1@gmail.com

How was your Independence Day?

Independence Day 2008 has come and gone.

We decided to try to get back to nature and went horseback riding

I know that Friday Funnies came late and whenever a holiday falls on Friday it will be late again.
For me, nothing stands in the way of spending quality time with my family, including a blog post.

Have a great Monday after your long weekend, and if you have a hangover, I wish you better, quieter days ahead.

Friday Funnies

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.

'I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed,' she explained. 'I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house.'

'Don't worry,' Jack said. 'We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light.' The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night. Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.

But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend

He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, 'Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago?'

'Yes, I do.' said Bob.

'Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?'

'Well, um, yes,' Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out, 'I have to admit that I did.'
'And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?'

Bob's face turned beet red and he said, 'Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did.' 'Why do you ask?'

'She just died and left me everything.'

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY

It's the day before Independence Day in the U. S.
I will not be online at all tomorrow whatsoever. Too busy celebrating our Nation's Independence from British rule.

(Soap Box Time)
I refuse to refer to the day of our Independence as simply "The 4th". To me that is like taking Christ out of Christmas. So if you tell me "Happy 4th of July". Come Christmas I'll tell you "Merry mas"
(Steps off the Soap Box)

Have a safe and happy Independence Day.
If you drink, don't drive. The person you run over and kill might be me.

Rain Rain...More Rain

It has officially rained everyday for the last two weeks. They are short rains but for someone with arthritis those are the worst. Oh well. Time to slather on more Aspercream, pop more Ibuprofen and bear the pain.

No answer yet on the "I Are Smart" quiz.