911 Call

911 call:
What do you do if you can't spell the name of the street you are on?

FRIDAY FUNNY

A rather well proportioned woman decided to spend most of her weekend at a Hilton high-rise sunbathing on the roof. She wore a bathing suit the first day, but on the second, she decided that no one could see her way up there, and she slipped out of it for an overall tan. She'd hardly begun when she heard someone running up the stairs. She was lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear.

"Excuse me, miss," said the flustered assistant manager of the hotel, out of breath from running up the stairs. "The Hilton doesn't mind your sunbathing on the roof, but we would very much appreciate your wearing a bathing suit as you did yesterday."

"What difference does it make?" Joan asked rather calmly. "No one can see me up here, and besides, I'm covered with a towel."

"Not exactly," said the embarrassed man. "You're lying on the dining room skylight."

Random Ramblings

The rents have flown up from the land of the burning sun Phoenix AZ. It looks like they brought the nice weather with them. It has rained in Massachusetts almost every week and the one week They chose to visit it's B-E-A-utiful.

They finally get to see their grand children, Mikayla and Aiden, for the first time. I hope they were impressed.

Time to go play host.

Ta Ta for now

MAD GAB

Here is the all new Saturday Mad Gab blog game.
Say the group of words below aloud.
Answer what you think you hear in the comments
Check the comments after 5:00 PM EST Sunday for the answer
The puzzle is.

Wad Acre Heap

Good Luck!

I need a new 710

A few days ago I was having some work done at a Ford dealer. A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten. We all looked at each other and another customer asked, "What is a seven-hundred-ten?" She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one." She said that she did not know what it was but this piece had always been there. He gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to another car that had its hood up and asked, "Is there a 710 on this car?" She pointed and said, "Of course, it's right there.

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Friday Funny

Actual Newspaper Headlines

Some are just slips of the tongue

* Grandmother of eight makes hole in one
* Deaf mute gets new hearing in killing
* Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
* House passes gas tax onto senate
* Stiff opposition expected to casketless funeral plan
* Two convicts evade noose, jury hung
* William Kelly was fed secretary
* Milk drinkers are turning to powder
* Safety experts say school bus passengers should be belted
* Quarter of a million Chinese live on water
* Farmer bill dies in house
* Iraqi head seeks arms

Some become unintentionally suggestive

* Queen Mary having bottom scraped
* Is there a ring of debris around Uranus?
* Prostitutes appeal to Pope
* Panda mating fails - veterinarian takes over
* NJ judge to rule on nude beach
* Child's stool great for use in garden
* Dr. Ruth to talk about sex with newspaper editors
* Soviet virgin lands short of goal again
* Organ festival ends in smashing climax

Grammar often botches other headlines

* Eye drops off shelf
* Squad helps dog bite victim
* Dealers will hear car talk at noon
* Enraged cow injures farmer with ax
* Lawmen from Mexico barbecue guests
* Miners refuse to work after death
* Two Soviet ships collide - one dies
* Two sisters reunite after eighteen years at checkout counter

Once in a while, a botched headline takes on a meaning opposite from the one intended:

* Never withhold herpes from loved one
* Nicaragua sets goal to wipe out literacy
* Drunk drivers paid $1,000 in 1984
* Autos killing 110 a day, let's resolve to do better

Sometimes newspaper editors state the obvious

* If strike isn't settled quickly it may last a while
* War dims hope for peace
* Smokers are productive, but death cuts efficiency
* Cold wave linked to temperatures
* Child's death ruins couple's holiday
* Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn't seen in years
* Man is fatally slain
* Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say
* Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation

VAROOOOPS

VAROOOOPS

THE RENTS ARE COMING! THE RENTS ARE COMING!

It is almost time for the rents to come up and meet the Grandchildren. That would be Mikayla and her cousin Aiden who was born just two days before Mikayla. The whole family is gathering in Walpole where it will be time to play the "Pass The Baby" game, (Go Long!)

In other news:
Today is my Step-mom's birthday. I know how old she is but I will be nice and not say it here.
Happy Birthday Mom C.

Random Vid

Have you ever seen anyone play a guitar like this?

Amazing Guitar Playing

Try it like this BJ

FUNNY FRIDAY

NUTRITION AND HEALTH

After an exhaustive review of the research literature, here is the final word on nutrition and health:

1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us

4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

CONCLUSION:
Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
But don't worry, your Government is trying to correct this problem.