OMG!!! I AM ALIVE AFTER ALL!

I am finally posting to the blog again with lots of prodding from one particular friend who cares a lot about me. I'll leave her name out to protect the innocent. Who am I kidding here. She's as innocent as I am. Thank you Anna.

Well here's the latest news:

Mikayla is growing like a weed and is motoring all over the place. She is also standing with a little help to get in the erect position.

This month is full of birthdays and holidays. My birthday is coming on the 20th, Jenn's on the 17, then we have xmas parties and xmas eve and day to spend with the families. And my dad is flying up from Arizona just in time for all the birthdays so I'm stoked about that, even if I have to pick him up at midnight. So much for a good night's sleep.

We are still having a hard time getting my blod sugar under control. I hit 348 a few days ago and haven't been below 200 since Thanksgiving. We will see what the Doc says in January. Till then I continue to wake up with no feeling in my arms whatsoever and still sweat like a pig all the time.
We will get it sorted out some time I hope.

My little pony got very sick on me and there was talk of putting her down. But we have a very compassionate vet who really knows her stuff and Impala has made a complete recovery.

Happy Christmas and Merry New Year to all.

NEW TO THE SITE

I'd like to take this moment to welcome Uncle Jay to the website.
Uncle Jay helps explain what the news is really saying.
You can catch a new episode each Monday.

I have had some requests for the return of Hangaroo.
Quite simply put, the best Hang Man game to ever hit the net.
Well, I brought it back and you can find it and many other games in The Game Vault

Be sure to come back here Friday for FRIDAY FUNNY and Saturday's MAD GAB game.

Gone to a wedding

I would rather like to say "Gone Fishing" but no such luck

Because of circumstances beyond my control there will be no Mad Gab today

Mad Gab will be back next week with a great puzzle.

Sorry if i disappointed you

FRIDAY FUNNY (I think)

UNCLE JAY EXPLAINS CONGRESS

If "Con" is the opposite of "Pro"
Than Congress is the opposite of Progress.

HORSING AROUND

We are accepting delivery of a new pony to our stable.
A cute little horse from Norway called a Fjord.
Mostly used for cart and sleigh driving
they are a very strong horse for their size

I am looking forward to giving cart and sleigh rides
and maybe even doing a parade or two.

MAD GAB ANSWER

The answer to saturday's Mad Gab is

I Dream of Jeanie

Congratulations to
Jenn
Who was the first (and only) person to get the right answer.
For that matter she was the only one to even try.

We'll try again next Saturday.
Come on and play

MAD GAB SATURDAY

Yes, It's
MAD GAB SATURDAY.

Here are the rules.
Read the puzzle below then click "Comments"
enter your answer, type the word verification,
Choose an Identity then publish your comment.

If you have a blog please choose that identity.
If you want credit for a correct answer choose Name/URL.
If you don't want credit for a correct answer choose Anonymous.

And Now The Puzzle

Eyed Ream Oaf Gene He

Look for the answer and winners tomorrow.
Good luck.

FRIDAY FUNNY

In Honor of Stupid People
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity,
here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
(Damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

STOP HITTING THE PANIC BUTTON

I'M BACK

I know I have not been blogging for a few days. Well, since the 5th. Ok. Ok. More than a few days.
But I have good reason.

Thanks to the generosity of a very close friend who's name I will not mention (cough....B.J.) I was able to purchase some actual server space and regain my domain name "raysplayground.com". I have had to devote all my free time to transferring the site content to the new server. The rest of my time is spent being father of the year (one has to brag a little). But now I'm back and with a vengeance. Keep your eye out for new blogs everyday along with NEW VIDEOS on the site, NEW JOKES on FUNNY FRIDAY, the restart of MAD GAB SATURDAY and many more MIKAYLA PHOTOS including some very cute pro photos (Pro photos are copywrite protected and must be purchased.)

FRIDAY FUNNY

Top 10 Most Brilliant Advertising Mess Ups

1. Coors put its slogan, "Turn it loose," into Spanish, where it was read as "Suffer from diarrhea."
2. Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American campaign: "Nothing sucks like an Electrolux."
3. Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick", a curling iron, into German only to find out that "mist" is slang for manure. Not too many people had use for the "manure stick."
4. When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as in the U.S., with the beautiful Caucasian baby on the label. Later they learned that in Africa, companies routinely put pictures on the label of what's inside, since most people can't read.
5. Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of a notorious porno magazine.
6. An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of "I saw the Pope" (el Papa), the shirts read "I saw the potato" (la papa).
7. Pepsi's "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" translated into "Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave", in Chinese.
8. Frank Perdue's chicken slogan, "it takes a strong man to make a tender chicken" was translated into Spanish as "it takes an aroused man to make a chicken affectionate."
9. The Coca-Cola name in China was first read as "Ke-kou-ke- la", meaning "Bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax", depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 characters to find a phonetic equivalent "ko-kou-ko- le", translating into "happiness in the mouth."
10. When Parker Pen marketed a ball-point pen in Mexico, its ads were supposed to have read, "it won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you". Instead, the company thought that the word "embarazar" (to impregnate) meant to embarrass, so the ad read: "It won't leak in your pocket and make you pregnant."

911 Call

911 call:
What do you do if you can't spell the name of the street you are on?

FRIDAY FUNNY

A rather well proportioned woman decided to spend most of her weekend at a Hilton high-rise sunbathing on the roof. She wore a bathing suit the first day, but on the second, she decided that no one could see her way up there, and she slipped out of it for an overall tan. She'd hardly begun when she heard someone running up the stairs. She was lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear.

"Excuse me, miss," said the flustered assistant manager of the hotel, out of breath from running up the stairs. "The Hilton doesn't mind your sunbathing on the roof, but we would very much appreciate your wearing a bathing suit as you did yesterday."

"What difference does it make?" Joan asked rather calmly. "No one can see me up here, and besides, I'm covered with a towel."

"Not exactly," said the embarrassed man. "You're lying on the dining room skylight."

Random Ramblings

The rents have flown up from the land of the burning sun Phoenix AZ. It looks like they brought the nice weather with them. It has rained in Massachusetts almost every week and the one week They chose to visit it's B-E-A-utiful.

They finally get to see their grand children, Mikayla and Aiden, for the first time. I hope they were impressed.

Time to go play host.

Ta Ta for now

MAD GAB

Here is the all new Saturday Mad Gab blog game.
Say the group of words below aloud.
Answer what you think you hear in the comments
Check the comments after 5:00 PM EST Sunday for the answer
The puzzle is.

Wad Acre Heap

Good Luck!

I need a new 710

A few days ago I was having some work done at a Ford dealer. A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten. We all looked at each other and another customer asked, "What is a seven-hundred-ten?" She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one." She said that she did not know what it was but this piece had always been there. He gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to another car that had its hood up and asked, "Is there a 710 on this car?" She pointed and said, "Of course, it's right there.

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Friday Funny

Actual Newspaper Headlines

Some are just slips of the tongue

* Grandmother of eight makes hole in one
* Deaf mute gets new hearing in killing
* Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
* House passes gas tax onto senate
* Stiff opposition expected to casketless funeral plan
* Two convicts evade noose, jury hung
* William Kelly was fed secretary
* Milk drinkers are turning to powder
* Safety experts say school bus passengers should be belted
* Quarter of a million Chinese live on water
* Farmer bill dies in house
* Iraqi head seeks arms

Some become unintentionally suggestive

* Queen Mary having bottom scraped
* Is there a ring of debris around Uranus?
* Prostitutes appeal to Pope
* Panda mating fails - veterinarian takes over
* NJ judge to rule on nude beach
* Child's stool great for use in garden
* Dr. Ruth to talk about sex with newspaper editors
* Soviet virgin lands short of goal again
* Organ festival ends in smashing climax

Grammar often botches other headlines

* Eye drops off shelf
* Squad helps dog bite victim
* Dealers will hear car talk at noon
* Enraged cow injures farmer with ax
* Lawmen from Mexico barbecue guests
* Miners refuse to work after death
* Two Soviet ships collide - one dies
* Two sisters reunite after eighteen years at checkout counter

Once in a while, a botched headline takes on a meaning opposite from the one intended:

* Never withhold herpes from loved one
* Nicaragua sets goal to wipe out literacy
* Drunk drivers paid $1,000 in 1984
* Autos killing 110 a day, let's resolve to do better

Sometimes newspaper editors state the obvious

* If strike isn't settled quickly it may last a while
* War dims hope for peace
* Smokers are productive, but death cuts efficiency
* Cold wave linked to temperatures
* Child's death ruins couple's holiday
* Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn't seen in years
* Man is fatally slain
* Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say
* Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation

VAROOOOPS

VAROOOOPS

THE RENTS ARE COMING! THE RENTS ARE COMING!

It is almost time for the rents to come up and meet the Grandchildren. That would be Mikayla and her cousin Aiden who was born just two days before Mikayla. The whole family is gathering in Walpole where it will be time to play the "Pass The Baby" game, (Go Long!)

In other news:
Today is my Step-mom's birthday. I know how old she is but I will be nice and not say it here.
Happy Birthday Mom C.

Random Vid

Have you ever seen anyone play a guitar like this?

Amazing Guitar Playing

Try it like this BJ

FUNNY FRIDAY

NUTRITION AND HEALTH

After an exhaustive review of the research literature, here is the final word on nutrition and health:

1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us

4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

CONCLUSION:
Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
But don't worry, your Government is trying to correct this problem.

FRIDAY FUNNY

THE PURINA DIET

I have 6 large dogs and was buying several large bags of Iam's at Costco. While I was standing in line to check out, the woman behind me asked if I had a dog. (DUH!!!)
On impulse, I told her no, I was staring The Purina Diet again.
Although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital the last time.
But I'd lost 20 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again .

I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy who was standing behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me?

I told her no, I'd been sitting in the street licking my ass and a car hit me.

I thought the guy standing behind her was going to need help as he staggered to the door laughing.

Random Video

Oh My! It has almost been a whole week since I've blogged anything.
Well I guess that means that not much has gone on around here that's news worthy.

Oh well, I'll have something for you tomorrow.
That is Funny Friday after all

In the meantime here is a vid I think you'll like

Hu is in China

Friday Funny

ACTUAL AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET 12659 ---CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.

The case came up in court.

The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.

The man replied, 'Well your Honor, it was like this, when the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat down under a sign that said, 'The Double Mint Twins are coming' and I grinned. Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, ' Logan 's Liniment will reduce the swelling,' and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, 'William's Big Stick Did the Trick,' and I could hardly contain myself. But, Your Honor, when She moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, 'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident'... I just lost it.'

'CASE DISMISSED!!'

Mikayla Update

Yup. You read it right. This is a Mikayla Update.
I know it's been a while but there really hasn't been anything of import to say. She's eating, sleeping and filling her diaper just like she's supposed to be doing.

Jenn however has gone crazy with the camera again and snapped a crap load of pictures.
You can find the new slide show on Mikayla's Page. Remember that you can click on the slide show name in the lower left corner to get to the thumbnail section and download any one of the photos you want.

You might also find a link in this post somewhere

Enjoy the slide show.

Thought for Today

'OPEC is selling oil for over $135.00 a barrel.

OPEC nations buy U.S. grain at $7.00 a bushel.

Solution: Sell grain for $135.00 a bushel.

Can't buy it...Tough...Eat your oil.'

Monday Monday

It's Monday morning and I sit here with my ever present coffee cup wondering what the day will bring.

First: I heard from my Stepmom in Phoenix AZ the other day. Apparently all is well there.
I really miss you all down there.

Second: I'm so sorry Anna that I forgot your birthday but you know me and my CRS.
Happy belated birthday. Wait that should be Belated Happy Birthday. Your birthday wasn't late, I was LOL.

Third: The admin server for the site is down so I can't update the daily comics or complete the two new sections (Free Cursors and Games). I will have those two up and running as soon as I can.

FRIDAY FUNNY

The husband had just finished reading a new book, "YOU CAN BE THE MAN OF YOUR HOUSE"

He stormed into the kitchen and walked directly up to his wife. Pointing a finger in her face, he said sternly, "From now on, YOU need to know that I AM the MAN of this house, and my word is law!

You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert afterward.
Then, after dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me, and we will have the sex that I want.

After that, you are going to draw me my bath so I can relax.

You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then you will massage my feet and hands.

Then after that's done, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair????"

His wife replied, "The funeral director would be my guess."

Wishfull thinking

Today has turned out to be a B-E-A-utiful day. A great day to drag out the old canoe, drop it in the lake and cast a lure into the water. To bad I don't have said canoe yet. Give me time though.

I have been bored the last few days. My friend went on vacation (or should I say "On Holiday") in Australia. According to her blog (See Anna's Blog) she is having a blast. I hope she continues to have fun but I miss her. If you see this Ana, hit me up if you have a free minute.

Tomorrow is Funny Friday and I have a good one waiting so stay tuned.
I need more funny stuff for Fridays so send me something
email anything you have to ourplayground1@gmail.com

How was your Independence Day?

Independence Day 2008 has come and gone.

We decided to try to get back to nature and went horseback riding

I know that Friday Funnies came late and whenever a holiday falls on Friday it will be late again.
For me, nothing stands in the way of spending quality time with my family, including a blog post.

Have a great Monday after your long weekend, and if you have a hangover, I wish you better, quieter days ahead.

Friday Funnies

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.

'I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed,' she explained. 'I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house.'

'Don't worry,' Jack said. 'We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light.' The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night. Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.

But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend

He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, 'Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago?'

'Yes, I do.' said Bob.

'Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?'

'Well, um, yes,' Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out, 'I have to admit that I did.'
'And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?'

Bob's face turned beet red and he said, 'Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did.' 'Why do you ask?'

'She just died and left me everything.'

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY

It's the day before Independence Day in the U. S.
I will not be online at all tomorrow whatsoever. Too busy celebrating our Nation's Independence from British rule.

(Soap Box Time)
I refuse to refer to the day of our Independence as simply "The 4th". To me that is like taking Christ out of Christmas. So if you tell me "Happy 4th of July". Come Christmas I'll tell you "Merry mas"
(Steps off the Soap Box)

Have a safe and happy Independence Day.
If you drink, don't drive. The person you run over and kill might be me.

Rain Rain...More Rain

It has officially rained everyday for the last two weeks. They are short rains but for someone with arthritis those are the worst. Oh well. Time to slather on more Aspercream, pop more Ibuprofen and bear the pain.

No answer yet on the "I Are Smart" quiz.

Rain Rain go away

Muggy, Humid, Rain! Muggy, Humid, Rain! Muggy, Humid, Rain!

That has been the weather forecast for the last few days. Humid in the morning. Muggy in the afternoon. Thunderstorms with hail in the evenings. Power outages all over the place.

With all that going on it has made me a little disgruntled.
So Jenn is working to find my grunt and put it back in.

(Promise to Jenn.)
"I will do my best to find my grunt and be a happier person."

Mikayla Update

Mikayla is now 5 months old and is cute as ever. It is, however, the age that she see's just how far she can go.

Enjoy the slide show

Funny Friday

14 Uses for Vodka other than getting drunk

1. To remove a bandage painlessly, saturate the bandage with vodka. The solvent dissolves adhesive.
2. To clean the caulking around bathtubs and showers, fill a trigger-spray bottle with vodka, spray the caulking, let set five minutes and wash clean. The alcohol in the vodka kills mold and mildew.
3. To clean your eyeglasses, simply wipe the lenses with a soft, clean cloth dampened with vodka. The alcohol in the vodka cleans the glass and kills germs.
4. Prolong the life of razors by filling a cup with vodka and letting your safety razor blade soak in the alcohol after shaving. The vodka disinfects the blade and prevents rusting.
5. Spray vodka on vomit stains, scrub with a brush, and then blot dry. Using a cotton ball, apply vodka to your fac e as an astringent to cleanse the skin and tighten pores.
6. Add a jigger of vodka to a 12-ounce bottle of shampoo. The alcohol cleanses the scalp, removes toxins from hair, and stimulates the growth of healthy hair.
7. Fill a sixteen-ounce trigger-spray bottle and spray bees or wasps to kill them.
8. Pour one-half cup vodka and one-half cup water in a Ziploc freezer bag and freeze for a slushy, refreshable ice pack for aches, pain or black eyes.
9. Fill a clean, used mayonnaise jar with freshly packed lavender flowers, fill the jar with vodka, seal the lid tightly and set in the sun for three days. Strain the liquid through a coffee filter, then apply the tincture to aches and pains.
10. To relieve a fever, use a washcloth to rub vodka on your chest and back as a liniment.
11. To cure foot odor, wash your feet with vodka.
12. Vodka will disinfect and alleviate a jellyfish sting.
13. Pour vodka over an area affected with poison ivy to remove the urushiol oil from your skin.
14. Swish a shot of vodka over an aching tooth. Allow your gums to absorb some of the alcohol to numb the pain.

And silly me ........ I've only been drinking the stuff on occasion!

Neil Entwistle found guilty

Neil Entwistle has been found guilty of murder in the first degree and the prosecutor is looking for life without parole.

And now, my view on the condemned.

We, the tax payers are now going to pay to provide him with the necessities of life.
Things covered in the following list.

1. A warm bed
2. Hot food
3. Cable TV (of which I don't have because I can't afford it)
4. Internet access (of which I have as a gift from a friend because I can't afford it)
5. A fully equipped weight room (of which I have no access to because....you got it...I can't afford it)
6. A correspondence college education complete with degree. (I would have to pay back a minimum $22,000 school loan)

In short, he will now get for free everything we taxpayers have to work our butts off to get and still can't afford. Oh and one more thing. He will pay no taxes unless he happens to own a business that runs itself.

My view on the death penalty.
If you, with premeditation, intentionally take someone's life you should lose yours.
And he took two lives, his wife and child.

Playing the Kazoo

All I can say is I hope she doesn't ask me to play along.

More Power

I am so stoked right now. My brand new Hoveround Power Chair was delivered at 12:00 PM yesterday. I could literally sleep in this thing. Take a look.

With foot plate

With elevating leg rests

Reclined position

Monday Morning Coffee

It's Monday morning and it has been a busy weekend. We have an all new slide show of Mikayla posted on the site, go there and click on the Mikayla's Page button in the menu.

Today: I am supposed to get a brand new power chair delivered. I'll be soooo glad when I get that. My old chair is just about on it's last wheel.

Sunday: Congratulations go to Kyle Busch for winning the Toyota/Save Mart 350

Saturday: as you see below we lost a champion racer on Saturday, rest in peace Scott. A link to the Tribute from NHRA.COM can be found on the site.

LOADING A BOBCAT

A SAD DAY IN RACING

Funny Car driver Scott Kalitta, 46, was transported to Old Bridge Township Hospital where he died from multiple injuries after his car went out of control and crashed in the fourth and final round of qualifying Saturday at the Lucas Oil NHRA SuperNationals.

Rest in peace Scott, See you at the finish line

RAFFIA @ MEAL TIME

Here is the video of Raffia feeding as promised in the pets slide show in the site.

FRIDAY FUNNY

A fire fighter is working on one of the engines outside the station, when he notices a little girl next door in a little red wagon, with little ladders hanging off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.

The girl is wearing a fire fighter's helmet. The wagon is being pulled by her dog and her cat. The firefighter walks over to take a closer look. 'That sure is a nice fire truck,' the fire fighter says with admiration.

Thanks,' the girl says. The fire fighter looks a little closer and notices the girl has tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.

'Little Partner,' the fire fighter says, 'I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster.'

The little girl replies thoughtfully, 'You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren.'

Happy Humpday

I had a very strange morning. I woke up not being able to move my left arm at all. I realized that it was my bone spurs in my spine that was causing it so I worked my back around till it popped. I got movement back but my hand is still numb. Try taking care of a baby like that LOL. It's tricky but doable.

Happy Humpday

My First Father's Day

Jenn took me to the Animal Planet Expo for Father's Day and no, a T-shirt wasn't all I got. I got a frisbie instead. Just kidding, I had a great time with my family and seeing all the animals. Check out the slide show of what we saw there.

I really did get a frisbie.

Mikayla Update 06-12-08

This morning was a bit messy. Mikayla started her first solid food with a spoon. That is really going to take some practice. Not from Mikayla. It's her parents that need the practice.

Pictures of this morning are on the way to the website.

Wish us luck with that endeavor

Suits Me Fine

A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.

The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and she says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'

The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly.

She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I' m very grateful. How much did you spend?' To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.

'There's no charge,' she says.

'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.

'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'

'So I just switched the heads.'

(BET YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT COMIN!!!)

Mikayla Update 06-10-08

Mikayla had her 4 month Doctor's appointment this morning. Boy am I glad they don't have the parents give the shots. Mikayla is going to grow up hating Dr. Knight. No... Wait. The Dr. doesn't give the shots either. It's the nurse she will hate.

Aside from all that, Mikayla as been given a clean bill of health and is now starting on solid foods. Time to see if she likes oat meal

(news music in background)
And now your weather break.
It is still HOT! HOT! HOT! Bright and sunny. Headed for a high of 98.

Enjoy

Today's Blah

HOT, HOT, HOT
Man is it hot. You would think that we completely bypassed Spring and went straight to Summer.
Time to break out the canoes and sunscreen and head for the lake.
Mikayla will be an outdoors type if it kills me. My only difficulty with spending the day at the lake is that my blood sugar medication has made me photosensitive. I have to use SPF 5000 or I burn to a crisp. Time for me to design a canopy for canoes. Just don't roll it over or you'll never get it righted.

Have fun, enjoy the sun.

Mikayla Rolls over

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Growing Like A Weed

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Why Me

Today has been the day from hell. First I wake up to RAIN, RAIN, RAIN and you know what that does to my hips. Then we get a letter stating that our insurance on the moose is canceled so we have to drain the bank account and add more to it to catch it up. Then we had to rush around to get our errands done. Then I get Jenn to work and get home after going to the new Super Wal-Mart. I fed Mikayla and 5 minutes later she starts screaming her head off for 2 straight hours. I finally figured out that she just wanted to be held.

Boy oh Boy!

Mikayla Update 06-03-08

Mikayla now has her stitches out and she's doing great. They have wonders in the field of medicine. Get this. After taking out her stitches the Doc glued her together. Let me explain. He said that the incision was still a little weak but it was time for the stitches to come out anyway. He then slathered the area with "Hospital Grade Glue" then applied tape and put more glue over that. Heck, her bottom is now better protected than a knight in shining armor. That glue and tape sealant should last about 3 weeks, then we go back to Boston or Waltham for one last look at it.

It looks like all is well.

Mikayla Update 06-02-08

Mikayla Update
Tomorrow, 06-03, Mikayla is getting her stitches taken out. She is doing great and acting like a regular baby. The fist few months of family life has been a little trying as is with most new parents but I think we have weathered the storm well.

Da Website

Ok. After getting the really big headache of finding out that the person who sold me the server space for my site didn't even own the space over and done with, The site is coming back up. However it is at a new URL and with a new logo "Our Playground". With an all new look and format, I hope you enjoy. Please feel free to leave a comment here to let me know what you would like to see (or not) on the site.

Website Woes

This goes under the "How Do You Like Them Apples" heading.
Someone had the audacity to hack into my website and "Ravage" it leaving behind an image taunt saying "Nani Nani Boo Boo, I Hacked You". Later that day someone hacked into the server my site resides on and "Ravaged" that knocking that server off line.

Why do people do things like that? There is no monetary gain by doing things like that unless it's part of a bet. So I guess it's just to "Get Their Jollies Off".

All I can do is sit and wait for the server owners to rebuild.

See you on the site soon.

Mikayla Update

Mikayla has gone through her surgery with flying colors. The Hemangioma was only skin deep so it was less traumatic on her little buttock. the resulting hole was relatively easy to close with hopes of very minimal scarring. Recovery was fairly smooth as well. We are now home and comfortable.